I feel like I've been waiting for this month since February as I knew this was the month we could finally announce our second pregnancy!
I'm not going to lie, this first trimester has really, really kicked my butt. I've struggled so much more this time around than I did with Alfie. I'm still being sick most days, I'm still completely wiped out in the evening's, I've not cooked a proper meal for about 10 weeks...I can't wait until this feeling passes and I can start to enjoy this pregnancy because so far, it's been really tough.
I've struggled a lot this month. I've struggled with guilt over not being a good mummy or wife. I feel like I've totally neglected the boys as I've been going to sleep as soon as I can in the evening's, meaning I've had very little time with Michael and I've not been the Mummy Alfie deserves. I've not had the energy to do much as by the time we get to weekend, I feel so wiped out that I've just wanted to stay home and relax, so we haven't really done any of the things that I wanted to do. That said, this month has made me realise more than ever just how lucky I am to have my boys. Alfie has been really good at taking care of me, bringing me a glass of water every morning and he's been really understanding when I've just wanted to cuddle on the couch with him instead of playing, or cooking etc. As for Michael - I don't even know where to begin. He's been my absolute rock. Since the sickness kicked in, he's literally done everything - working full time, looking after Alfie (and me), making tea every night (pre pregnancy, his tea would be on the table when he walked in) he's been doing the housework, the washing... Everything. I'm so grateful to have him! I couldn't wish to be sharing this journey with a better man.
It's not all been doom and gloom this month though as we finally got to see our little baby for the 1st time at my 12 week scan. It was as incredible as the first time we saw Alfie and I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I got confirmation that there's only one little bub in there! ;)
Once we'd had the scan and we knew everything was ok, I couldn't wait to announce it. I've found it really hard to keep it a secret - not only because I've already got a little bump which I've found harder and harder to hide, but because I've felt so dreadful that it's been hard to keep a secret from my work mates! I was just so relieved that it could finally be out in the open.
I posted this picture on facebook to announce our news.
We were totally overwhelmed with all the comments we got from everyone and we were really touched by all the congratulatory messages we got. I felt very loved!
I absolutely love this picture of my gorgeous boy kissing my tummy. I was so proud.
My hopes of getting a lovely picture of us all didn't go to plan, so it was a last minute job (again) but it's us and that's all that matters (and I promise Alfie is more excited about being a big brother than this picture lets on) ;)
So that's us in April. I'm hoping I feel better for May as I celebrate my 30th and I really hope I'm able to enjoy it without feeling so terrible every day! I keep telling myself that my feeling so bad is a sign that the baby is growing strong, which is the only comfort I can take from the past few weeks.
Here is hoping for a better May.
*linking up with Lucy at dear beautiful boy